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Getting Over a Breakup

How to feel more positive when you are getting over a breakup and why focusing on the future can speed up the healing process… When relationships end, it can feel like the world has come crashing down around you and life can drastically change. The person you loved is no longer a large part of your life, making you feel lonely, sad and heartbroken. There are so many reasons why relationships end that it would be impossible to list, but for whatever reason it happened, it’s important to give yourself time to heal and time to accept what has happened. Getting over a breakup isn’t often easy and perhaps the loneliness that we feel is the most overwhelming part of the split, especially when we are used to having that person around us all the time.

Try not to be distracted by feelings of loneliness… Why Did the Relationship End? If your partner was the one to call it a day, then you will undoubtedly be finding it harder than if it was the other way around. Over analysing can be all-consuming and if you’re unsure as to the actual reason why they ended it, then perhaps it’s better to accept that you will never necessarily find the answers. Regardless, you need to try and pick yourself up, be kind to yourself and start to rebuild your confidence. If you were the one to end the relationship, then it’s likely you had a good reason. Try not to be distracted by feelings of loneliness because falling back into the same unhappy relationship could be the wrong thing to do.

Negative relationships are unlikely to ever change, so it is important to realise this, to accept that you need time to heal and to not fall back into the trap of an on / off relationship that will never be long-term. Remember, time is a healer. Life will feel different but it’s about embracing the changes… How to Help Yourself Everyone knows that getting over a breakup can be one of the hardest things in life. However, inevitably you will feel better with time and it will probably be quicker than you think. Living an unhappy life in a negative relationship can be draining, confusing and soul destroying. So many people lose confidence, self-esteem and self-respect when relationships become damaging, so it’s important that you close that door, heal yourself and move forward when you’re ready.

Here’s some tips on getting over a relationship breakup:

Pull in all your friends, spend time together, fill your diary and have some fun times! Keeping busy is a great distraction to getting over a breakup. Spending time with others will give you something else to think about.

• Pamper Yourself – Treat yourself to some pamper treatments, get a massage or have some Reiki healing. Some special pamper time will help you and free you from tension and overwhelming thoughts. Our bodies also physically react to stressful times like a relationship breakup, so look after yourself.

Avoid the Rebound – Quickly getting into another relationship will not help you get over the breakup. This is an all too common mistake that will more than likely end up as the wrong type of relationship or end in tears. Of course, we naturally often want someone else to focus on, but ultimately it won’t help us in the long-run.

• Plan Your Future – When you feel ready and after some time, start to think about the future. What changes do you want to make that will have a positive impact on your life? Where do you see yourself in the future and what would be your perfect relationship?

Thinking about or making plans for your future helps to accept your independence and empowers you to focus. Planning for the future isn’t avoiding or necessarily disregarding the fact that you are getting over a breakup. You are changing your thought pattern from focusing on what has just happened, to looking at the good things that could come to you in the future. Life will feel different but it’s about embracing the changes, focusing on a whole new life and putting yourself first. It’s time to rebuild your confidence… Start to Feel Positive Once you are through the initial early days of the breakup, you will likely start to realise that ending the relationship was a good thing.

Relationships that are affected by constant arguments, bad communication, cheating or abuse (mental, physical or psychological) are damaging to anyone. Low self-esteem and confidence can weaken people to allow their partners to treat them this way, but often it is because they have put up with this behaviour for a while so they are just ‘used to it’. It’s important to now start to feel positive and to turn your life around. You have already removed yourself from a relationship that will inevitably never work, and it’s time to rebuild your confidence, consider exciting new romantic opportunities and feel good about yourself again.

* Pay as you Go service costs €2.44 min plus any network extras. Calls from mobiles may cost more. * The €0.49 per minute offer is only available to new customers paying by credit/debit card. This offer is not available on calls paid on your phone bill. Your first 10 minutes will be billed at €0.49 per minute, thereafter you will pay the standard rate of €2.10 per minute. You must be 18+ & have  bill payers permission. All calls are recorded. ComReg regulated SP: Moveda, Blackrock Dublin 1800 999 487

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